A Lazy Man's Marriage Prediciment
by avatarlemon
Summary: Shikamaru Nara is a typical lazy guy living the single life, but when his parents come along suggesting he gets married in exchange for them buying him ANY house of his brides choice, will he be able to find the one or will he just give up?
1. Chapter 1

I sat with my parents at the dinner table in my new apartment the words came out of her mouth. Honestly I about spilled my soup. The words hit me like kunai.

"Shikamaru, we think it's about time you get married." Me married!? Ha. How troublesome. Its such a pain having to pay for myself let alone a troublesome woman. Maybe I can be a monk. Or a cloud. My mothers words were forgotten as I dreamed about being a cloud.

"Shikamaru Nara. Were serious." She bit again. This troublesome woman just didn't know when to stop. Did she?

"mhm." I replied mindlessly wondering what it felt like to float across the sky.

"Shikamaru, im sorry to say, but your mother is right." I heard my dads voice and felt my pupils dialate. My dad, agreeing with my Mom? Oh boy this is already a drag.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because she's right." He replied. Dofus.

"Not that, I mean why should I get married?" I sighed staring at the fluft clouds through the window.

"Because this is the age where you are in control of your life. You need to find a lady before it's too late, no one wants to marry an old hag." she said standing and putting her bowl in the sink.

"And what if I dont want to?" I asked rolling my eyes.

"Stop being so troublesome." my father begged.

"Well if you do, well buy you a house." She said walking out of the kitchen back to the table.

"Hm a house?" I asked contemplating. This was a good deal, but a house for my life, no my soul.

"Any the lady wants." My dad said not seemingly thrilled about the idea.

"Hm. And what if it's expensive?" I asked thinking about the most expensive house I could and how I could have it. For free.

"If it'll please her well be glad, no matter the price. We have plenty of money and nothing to do with it." My mother said grabbing mine and my fathers bowls.

"Hm is there a deadline?" I asked knowing there would be a catch.

"Three months." My dad said flatly.

"And where exactly do you expect me to find a wife in three months!? Oh man, what a drag." I shouted but calmed down quickly.

"Hm, that Temari girl was nice!" My mom said rejoining the conversation... Again.

"I'd die first." I said flatly.

"Oh come on, she was nice."

"Hm. Give me time to think. If I have a wife in three months its a deal, if not its not. I would rather not hear anymore about this if you dont mind."

After cleaning up dinner they finally left. I plopped down into the couch a bit dramatically and turned on the tv.

"Awh man, this is such a drag." I said allowed.

I was honestly thinking about going with the plan. I mean after all I just wanted to live an average life, and I did at one point, want to get married and have some kids. But now that I have a chance to get rewarded for it im having second thought.

"Are you sick of being single!?" the TV blared.

"Oh shut up!" I shouted back at it.

"Need someone picked specially for you?"

I looked up at the TV.

"Try today! Meet ninja near you meant for you! Start a 3 month free trial today for free!" The guy on the TV sounded very excited. Like he'd just won the lottery.

I sat and thought while the news played as background music. But no matter how hard I tried I couldn't stop thinking about that stupid ad. Maybe I was meant to see that commercial? I couldn't atop thinking so I decided to go to bed. I promised myself if it was on my mind tomorrow, I'd look at the stupid site.

Oh yeah, one more reason I didn't want to get married, I didn't have to shower before bed and I could sleep in whatever I wanted.


	2. Laundry Day

"BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!" My alarm clock blared.

Great, morning already, what a drag. I pulled the string to turn my clock off. Yes, the string, I had a string holding a 1/4 lb weight over the 'OFF' button so when I rolled over to try and turn it off I wouldn't miss 700 times.

I stepped out of my bed and looked around my room. It wasn't _that_ messy, but it could be cleaned up... A lot. I walked across my room and grabbed a pair of sweat pants and threw them on. Next I practically crawled tp the kitchen still half asleep. I grabbed the pot out of the coffee pot and filled it with water, spilling half of it on the floor on the way back. I put some scoops of coffee into a filter and half of the grounds fell into the growing pile on the floor. What a drag. I turned on the coffee pot and walked towards the bathroom.

After getting in the shower I though about how it would be kinda nice to wake up and my wife already made me coffee, and had cleaned the house. But then I thought about how my bathroom would be taken over. I imagined it and saw a bathroom filled with strawberry shampoo, and pink towels, and $100's worth in hair products. Special soaps. The list just kept going and I felt a shiver go down my spine. Yeah, we would definitely need a two bathroom house.

I stepped out of the shower and there were no clean towels. Typical, so I just walked back to my room naked. If I was married I wouldn't be able to do that without having to promise sex later or something stupid. But than again id probably have clean towels. Clean pink towels, I felt the shiver again.

I walked into my room and grabbed yesterdays clothes off the floor and sniffed them. Too stinky to wear again, what a drag. I walked to my drawer and grabbed out my last pair of pants and a shirt. I destroyed what was left in my drawers looking for a pair of boxers, but no luck. How troublesome. Ok, emergency stash time. I did a few hand seals and a secret compartment opened in my drawer revealing 4 complete sets of clean clothes. I grabbed the boxers to one set and closed the drawer.

I had skipped laundry day for 3 weeks now and now I had to make it all up, what a drag. I put on my boxers and pants, it was too hot for a shirt plus I was just in my house. No one else was here. I grabbed a hair tie from my dresser, the only one that I'd ever needed. Yeah, if I had a wife these stupid things would be everywhere. I pulled my hair into a ponytail and put some deoterant on. Great time to do laundry. What a drag.

I walked around my room picking up stray clothes, socks, shirts, a little bit of everything. I'm shocked I didn't find a dress. After my room was clothes free I headed to the bathroom with my basket full already, but ran into a bit more clothes on the way. So I took basket #1 to the basement, and brought the empty basket back up. I filled 3 more baskets worth of clothes. I didn't even know I had that much clothes!?

I sorted all of the clothes shirts in one pile, pants in another, and boxers and socks in the last. After 30 minutes of gathering I finally got all my shirts into the washer. But the washer didn't turn on. What a drag. So I did a little bit of pulling and ppkygging only to figure out I had turned the water to the basement off a while ago. I turned the water on and the machine started filling. I closed the lid and went upstairs.

Finally I can drink my coffee.

I walked to the cupboard and grabbed a cup, I filled it with the steaming coffee. I got l in the fridge and got out some milk. I poured the milk in the cup and looked for my sugar. How troublesome i was out of sugar. I got into the mainly empty pantry to grab a bag of sugar, and sitting right there was a pair of boxers!? How does that even happen!?

I grabbed the boxers with one finger, and of course at that exact second, the doorbell rang. What a drag this all was.

"One minute!" I shouted half hogging with the mysterious pantry boxers still hanging on my hand by a finger. I tossed them down the basement steps and closed the door. I ran back to the kitchen washed my hands and trotted to the door. How troublesome this all was.

I pulled the door open expecting to see Naruto, or Choji, but of course, how my day was going I should've seen this coming. It was non other than Sakura Haruno. how troublesome.

"Uh hi Sakura?" I asked wondering why she was at my door.

"Hey Shikamaru." She greeted cheekily.

Now, I mean, Sakura was my friend in all but we only hung out during missions or training. We barely even talked anymore. I thought of what to do, and judging by how she was standing, she didn't just come by to say hi. So I did what I had to do.

"Uh wanna come in?" I made myself ask.

"Sure, thanks." She smiled and I stepped aside. She walked through the door and I closed it behind her.

"I have some coffee in the kitchen if you want?" I asked about to walk in the kitchen.

"Really? Thanks! Black please." She said raking off her shoes as I walked away.

I poured the coffee into the cup and sat it at the table farthest from where I was sitting.

Sakura walked into the kitchen and for the second time already, I felt her eyes on me. It was weird. I turned around quickly and before she looked away I noticed she was looking at me funny.

Then it hit me.

I still wasn't wearing a shirt.

What a drag.

* * *

**A/N ok! Chapter 2 done! I actually had this chapter done before I even got the story up lol. So who do you guys wanna see with Shikamaru?**

**Temari? Sakura? Tenten? Ino? Someone else?! Tell me in a review please! The fate of the story is in your hands *duh duh dun!***


	3. Training

Well now I and two choices: 1.) excuse myself, explain and go put on shirt or 2.) not give a flying f-lipped what this troublesome woman thinks. After all this _is _my place.

I went with choice 2, choice 1 was too much work.

"So, what brings you here Sakura-Chan?" I asked trying to not sound rude.

"Oh, I was wondering if you wanted to train? Naruto and ino are both on missions." She said sipping the coffee.

"Hm. That sounds rather troublesome." I started and her expression changed "and I was kinda going to do house work today..." I said.

"Oh.." She frowned, but her expression changed again "I know! I can help you clean the house after we train?" She more asked than said.

"Hm. Well I suppose." I decided, making her go back to her spunky self.

"So why are we still here?!" She said standing up.

"I have to put some clothes in the washer and change then I'll be back. Turn on the tv or something." I said and walked from the table.

I walked into the basement thinking what a drag it was that I had agreed to train with this troublesome woman. I took the shirts from the washer and put them in the dryer. Great now my shirts are going to be wrinkled if training takes over an hour. What a drag. I took all my socks and boxers (including the mystery pantry boxers) and turned the washer on. I walked back up stairs.

Sakura was in the living room watching TV when I got back upstairs. I walked oast her, and she didn't even look at me. Good.

After I got in my room I shut the door. I put on a fishnet shirt, and my flack jacket. I put on my shoes. I walked back into the living room and Sakura still didn't notice me, she was too into her tv show. Like I wish I was. What a drag.

"Are we leaving today?" I asked casually.

"Hu!" she jumped. "Oh, Shikamaru," She said letting out a breath "you scared me!"

"Sorry." I said unconvincingly.

"Ok, well let's go." She shut off the TV and pyr her shoes on at the door while I was turning off the rest of the light.

"So, where are we going." I said rather than asked.

"Oh, I figured wed train somewhere in the woods. Maybe even a bell test sort of thing?" She asked.

I thigt about the bwll test, didn't that require 4 people? Well if we tried to get bells from each other, that might work..

"Fine." I said as we walked down main street.

We walked for about fifteen minutes before arriving at an old training ground.

"Got bells?" I asked staring at the lucky, lucky clouds.

"Yep." She said and handed me one. She explained how itd work and it did how I assumed.

"Go?" I asked staring at the clouds.

"Go!" She cheered and took off into the woods. We had decided we eav had five minutes to prepare before we tried to attack.

I just laid on the ground watching the clouds. The five minutes passed quickly.

"Huah!" Sakura shouted coming at me with a Kunai. She jumped and grabbed the bell. "Oh come on! Shikamru, make this a little bit harder, please?" She pleaded with me as I stared into the clouds.

"K." I said. Then disappeared with the bell.

"Huh!?" she questioned looking around.

What a fool, she couldn't even tell that was a clone!? I sat in the tree and watched her trying not to chuckle. Pathetic.

I decided to go with her request and jumped down quietly landing behind her.

"Shaddow possession jutsu" I said quietly and grabbed Sakura with a shaddow.

"Huh!?" She said trying to move her amrs.

"Wow." I said to her.

I reached for a kunai and she did the same, unwillingly of course. I threw the kunai as did she but I threw it too the left of her head (hers went to the right, as for it uses opposite hands like a mirror), though I still leaned back as it swept past me. She mirrored the move.

"What was the point of that?" She asked. I hear the kunai she threw hit the tree behind me.

At that second I spun around releasing Sakura and grabbing the real one who was hiding in the trees behind me. It was time to see if I was right. I reached my hand to the left of my head, still facing the clone. I acted as if I was grabbing a kunao out of a tees and threw it. Ducking as fast as I could and then rising up just in time for sakuras clone to rise too, being hit by the kunai and disappearing with a 'Poof!'.

"Come on out Sakura." I said and walked forward so she would too. Then I grabbed the bell on my left side, the side we both put them on, and took it off. I threw the bell ahead so it laid three Greg ahead of me in the grass. Just as Sakura's bell laid a few feer in front of her. I knew the jutsu wouldn't last much longer. I backed up slowly, causing her to do the same and I picked up the bell. But she just picked up grass, my bell still laid feer ahead of me.

Next I released the jutsu and ran full speed for my bell.

"Looks like I have both of them."

* * *

**A/N hmm so does Shikamaru really win this easily, or is there another trap. I dont know guys, its up to you!**


	4. Chapter 4

I looked. The bell in my hand, thankfully, it was real. But I still have ti get my bekl and I'm out of Chakara. What a drag.

I released the jutsu, and ran full speed for the bell, unfortantly, Sakura already had that idea. Troublesome woman. She was gaining on me.

"Wow, Shikamaru, I expected more of a challenge!" Sakura said running past me.

'Dont take the bait if its obvious!' Asuma's words to Choji from the bell test echoed in my head.

Sakura jumped and grabbed the bell only to be caught in the trap I had set.

"You really think I'm that stupid?" I asked her. And just as I knew would happen, I heard the softest footsteps.

Just as I expected, the real sakura jemped for the bell and got caught in the second trap I had set.

"You really tyghought id fall for your stupid clones?" I asked expecting anotygher to come out of nowhere. "I'm gonna end this now." I said and reached for the bell when a kunai hit me in the back.

"Looks like after all you did fall for my clones." Sakura teased from a over head tree.

The kunai had barely touched skin. Good.

"You got me. What a drag." I said standing there. "And I got you." I said as the real me stood holding her arms behind her.

"A clone!?" She shouted looking at the 'me' disappear in a poof.

"Yea. Now I say we end this, you Troublesome woman." I said tying her hands. I jumped down catiously amd grabbed my bell, quickly leaping away before the ground gave way.

I held up both bells and teased "laundry time."

-

"I'm hungry. How troublesome." I said as we walked out of the training area. "You?" I asked Sakura.

"Yeah kinda." She said.

"There's a bar down the street from my house." I said. "Well go there before we start cleaning."

"Oh, ok." She said.

It only took five ,inutes and we were at the bar. I walked in and sat in a booth, Sakura sat across from me.

"Hello, what can i get you two to drink?" The waiteress asked.

"I'll have a miller light." I said casually.

The waitress looked at Sakura "the same please." She said with a smile.

"I'll brig those rightout." The waitress said woth a smile and scurried away.

"You've gotton a lot better with the Shaddow possession Jutsu." Sakura said.

"Thanks. You've gotten a lot better with strategy. The w you used those clones was clever." I said taking a drink of the beer. It was warm. What a drag.

"Thanks, ive spent a lot of time training. By the way what are you getting to eat?" She asked  
ooking through the menu.

"A burger and fries." I said closing my menu.

"Oh." She said still studying the menu.

"Do you know whay you want yet?" The waitress asked smiling.

"I'll have a burger no lettuce or tomato, fries, and a side of ranch please." I said handing her the menu.

"And for you?" She asked turning to Sakura. This was such a drag.

"I'll have burger and a salad." She said, the waitress nodded and walked away.

Just then the door opened and in walked a laughing Naruto with ino smiling next to him.

"HEY SHIKAMARU! Who's woth you? Oh hey Sakura-chan! Woah you two are on a date!?" Naruto said with a smile plastered across his face.

"what?! No!" I protested but his smile stayed showing he didnt believe me. "Agh this is such a drag!" I said putting my head in my hands.


	5. Chapter 5

"Shikamaru, why didn't you tell us that you and Sakura were a thing!?" Ino teased.

"Were not!" I protested again.

"If you say so." Naruto teased.

"Naruto!" Sakura said threateningly.

"Ook." Naruoi said. Playfully putting his hands up.

"Mind if we sit?" Ino asked.

"Yes." I protested, but apparently Sakura's 'go ahead' was more meaningful.

"I thought you guys were on a mission."' I said.

"We were. were back though." Ino said with a smile.

"So how'd it go?" Sakura asked and they all blabbered about the mission.

thankfully, before I knew it, this troublesome altercation was over. Naruto had to go 'take a bath' and Ino needed to 'catch up on sleep', and with that the two left. Leaving me and the troublesome girl to finish our dinner.

"Are you done, ma'am?" The waitress asked reaching for Sakura's plate "I'll leve the check here." She said and smiled, walking always with our plates.

Sakura grabbed the check and examined it. I knew it'd be $16.88. Sakura reached in her weapons pouch and pulled out a small, pink wallet. She reached in it, but I was already standing next to the table, with a $20 sitting under the check.

"Let's go." I sighed.

"Ok, let me just-" She went to put the money down and realized my money was already there. "Huh?" He asked.

"Just come on already, people are staring." I sighed rolling my eyes at the troublesome woman.

"T-thanks!" She smiled walking out the door a step behind me.

"Yeah. See you around." I said walking towards my house.

"Wait!" She grabbed my shoulder a raised an eyebrow that meant 'what?' "I promised to help you clean." She smiled and walked next to me.

"Fine." I sighed and we were quickly at my doorstep. I unlocked the door successfully in the dark.

"Ok, so what do you want me to do?" Sakura asked smiling after we had got situated.

"Like vacuuming?" I asked feeling the dirt on the floor with my toes.

"Silly, I'll wipe everything down _then_ I'll vacume." She smiled "Have any pledge?" She asked.

"Under the sink. I'm going to do some laundry, I'll be downstairs if you need me."

After three hours, the house looked pretty nice.

"Thanks Sakura." I said handing her a glass of water.

"No problem." She said, her fatigue obvious in her voice.

"You can go home now." I said sitting in the chair across from her.

"No, no. I have to finish cleaning the couch. I looked in the living room and saw the cushions off of the couch and the vacuum cleaner sitting besides it.

"If you say so." I sighed, this troublesome woman was so weird.

"I'm going to finish laundry." I said and got up to go fold the last of the clothes. It was about 20 minutes later when I went into the living room to tell Sakura thanks, but instead I saw her sleeping soundly on my couch! Troublesome woman!

I looked down at her, she looked so peaceful. "Sakura." I said, shaking her shoulder "wake up." I said, shaking her a little harder. This was such a drag.

"Just let me sleep. Home tomorrow." With that she rolled over and sniggled into the couch. Just friken great.

I looked down at her and knew what I had to do. I picked her up. I carried her and sat her softly on my bed. I threw a blanket over her and awkwardly tucked her in. Then I grabbed my pillow and trugged out of the room my pillow dragging the ground. I threw it on the couch and plopped down. Is this what it was like living like a woman. What a drag.

* * *

**Hehe, don't kill me, please. I'm sorry it took so long to update, and I'm sorry it's so short, I've been busy with 'Cracked' head over and read it? Anyways, review please? And who do you wanna see Shika end up with? (:**


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